Bizarre punishments in (Christian) Domestic Discipline?


03/09/2012 by Basia Rose

What this long, rambling post is actually about (eventually!) is nappies. I should also preface this by saying where I live (Australia) religion doesn’t have the stranglehold on society the way it does in other parts of the world. Bringing God into anything here would be inconceivable. I am officially a Christian, but that doesn’t mean I only make decisions based on that. (Okay, I never do!)

“Husband, know… KNOW… your wife. If your wife has not explicity requested CDD, but she has made implicit comments similar to the ones mentioned above, and if you believe that CDD is a tool which may help strengthen your marriage, I suggest your next step would be prayer. Pray for wisdom for both of you, pray for God’s guidance, pray for help in humbling yourself, and pray for God to help her be willing to put aside her pride, fear, or control issues and trust you and trust God. Perhaps CDD would be a good fit for your marriage.”

Spelling mistakes courtesy of

I have a question:

When people pray about Christian Domestic Discipline, does God really reply? Really?!

“Yes. Even though your wife didn’t tell you to spank her, you must help her put aside her female pride and get her butt caned like a good God-fearing woman.”

I guess once that’s sorted, the husband could start praying for fisting, and figging. And threesomes.

Spanking = great. REALLY GREAT. I take issue with the Bible part of it though!

In recent weeks I’ve been hearing about a lot of husbands who make their wives wear nappies (that’s “diapers” for you Americans!) because – apparently, “If you act like a child, I’ll treat you like one.”

These are not Daddy Dom/babygirl relationships we’re talking about here (something I have no problem with, as it involves plenty of discussion and consent on both sides, and the people involved do it because it’s kinky!). These are Christian Domestic Discipline folks who claim that DD doesn’t mean the wife feels like she’s being treated like a baby.

Yet they force their wives to walk around in nappies…

Um… yeah. Good luck with that.

“Disciplining the wife when the marriage is in trouble may not be fair. In her eyes it may not even be right. But ask her whether in her soul God has told her that submitting to her husband’s hand, even in this, is against His will and the honest wife will admit defeat before the struggle begins.”

There is a large crowd of Christian folks who believe the man is head of the household – a position appointed by the bearded guy up at the Pearly Gates. He isn’t leading the relationship for any reason other than he was the one born with the schlong. I’ve come across men who began building up their collections of paddles to beat on their wives and children with years before they even met their spouse. I’ve seen online debates about the merits of washing out their wives’ mouths with soap over applying a medical cream to burn their butts when they’re out in public.

“With its misandric lesbianism and Marxist agitation, feminism will prove itself to be a curse upon women.”

Of course a lot of this in incorporated in BDSM too, but to me the intent is different. The CDD folks seem to believe they are hurting their wives (and children) because Jesus intended it that way. The power imbalance didn’t evolve from a person’s natural inclination to be Dominant or submissive; it happened because that’s what they learnt in Sunday school. And I find that repulsive.

“The husband is to ‘tend his garden’ in love with prayer, loving her enough to help her change in his ‘Christian position of Authority’.”

Domestic Discipline takes on all kinds of forms, and despite what the Christian crowd claims, a lot of people I’ve come across who practice it definitely incorporate kink.

Welcome to CDD

What Topics do we not Discuss?

3, Eroticism:

Whilst we recognise by its very nature this can be an erotic subject, we will keep this website as clean and wholesome as possible. However, we will not seek to deny the erotic nature of some CDD marriages as we believe it is a natural consequence of following God’s plan. After all, He created eroticism and sexuality to be enjoyed within the healthy, safe, and exclusive boundaries of marriage.

In other words, go ahead and get off on spanking your wife. But just pretend you don’t so you can uphold the façade that religious people are superior beings!

The word “clean” comes into the CDD vocabulary an awful lot. As if all those babies the Christians produce for love of Jesus arrived via the stork rather than any meeting of penis with vagina. As if sexuality is something to be ashamed of.

And yet, I’ve seen so many of these women talk about how turned-on their husbands are by spankings. So yeah, I’m thinking maybe there isn’t a way to be “clean” while you’re regularly marking up your wife’s arse.

One reason I find this hypocrisy so infuriating is that I have so many followers on sites like Pinterest, whose boards are full of Bible quotes, Jesus pictures and anti-porn messages. And yet they are fine with secretly looking at my BDSM pictures.

If you get off on changing your wife’s dirty nappies, then admit to it. But don’t force her to do those things because you think somehow that proves your superiority as a man. That is so far beyond stupid I’d laugh – if I didn’t feel so sorry for the wives. You are not “cleaner” than me, because sex – and yes, you’re having it! – isn’t dirty.

Unless you want it to be.

15 thoughts on “Bizarre punishments in (Christian) Domestic Discipline?

  1. Tsss. Just another name for domestic violence. When there isn’t consent, it’s not play, it’s abuse.

    • Basia Rose says:

      Yes. Some of the women whose husbands had made them wear nappies said it destroyed their marriages.
      All I could think was, “Well, THAT was a surprise”!

      • I find these things disgusting, not only for the abuse itself but also because it places real BDSM in bad daylight. It only feeds prejudices.

      • Basia Rose says:

        Absolutely – I hate seeing a practice people find enjoyable in one situation turned into something awful in another. I also hate that people can use their religion as an excuse to act like a dick!

  2. Do not take me wrong. At times CDD can be a good thing, every family needs structure, but if the Husband is controlling, and not in control, the outcome can be a disaster and open door for abuse.
    Why is CDD more about abuse. This is what the male grew up with, this is what he witnessed. The yelling, screaming, and yes the hitting.
    This is what the son is use to. This is what the wife is use to if raised in a CDD family.

    So now the wife lives in fear, knowing the rules change daily, unable to express her feelings.
    The Christians accept and encourage this lifestyle. They know of the abuse, but close their eyes.
    Okay the bible does say the woman should submit. One can take the meaning to far. If the woman was raised in a CDD family she will never know the difference.
    I cannot even begin to imagine what one is thinking as she is walking down the isle ,

    The difference in Cdd and BDSM In BDSM you have an open agreement , the two have an understanding, of what is expected in the relationship.
    A woman submissive or not should be cherished.

    • Basia Rose says:

      You’re correct! The difference between BDSM and CDD to me is the agreement and how they make it.

      I still haven’t read anything about CDD that makes me think it’s a good thing. I don’t know how it can be when both people are entering into it because of their religious beliefs rather than a real desire to have one person lead the household.

      The Christian DD sites are just weird to me (and scary). I’ve never really known anyone who runs their life based on their religion (we’re not very religious in Australia!), and I couldn’t ever follow it. It’s not like every Christian man is a Dom. He just thinks it’s his God-given right to beat his family when he wants to.

      • Do not take me wrong I am sure there are some good CDD homes, but very few and far between.
        The female knows no difference, she has been raised as such her whole life…
        I can say in my 49 yrs of life, I have never hit a woman.It did take me sometime however to stay in controlling and not controlling
        This is something every dominant must learn, it takes time..

      • Basia Rose says:

        Yes – there’s a difference between people choosing a DD relationship, and people being raised in a community where it’s expected. I never understand when these women claim they don’t feel like they’re being treated like a child, because they have been their entire lives and don’t know any different.

      • Well Rose the truth is, if that is all you know, you do not know any different. While they may not be happy, I am guessing most fear rejection, from church and family.
        Here is a good example the married Jehovah Witness I was seeing not to long ago, she was dis-fellowshipped , because her husband took her cell phone and found text she had on her phone that were sexual. Instead of being a man and trying to fix the problems, he goes to the elders and tells his side of the story and shows them the text.
        What a pussy. So now not only would people at the Hall not speak to her, her own family were not allowed to have anything to do with her including mother and father.
        If you take all these things away, they have no place to turn. No where to run.
        Most of these women do not work, and are kept on a tight leash. So the key word is obey , do as your told.
        Just like the Jehovah family problems were never discussed on women’s get together’ s, sex was never brought up. You are programmed as a child, and raised in the abuse. I suppose in a sense even part of the abuse.
        Your raised where it is okay to see the mother back hand at the dinner table, or punished in front of the children
        Even after the woman I speak of got the balls to move and find a job, she still defended her husband, and put all the blame on herself.
        While he was the first to have an affair, while he lied to her so many times, while he ran the family debt up so high they lost their home. She still defended him and his actions.
        To you and I it is abuse, to them it is a way of life.

      • Basia Rose says:

        I was lucky that even though my family is fairly religious, my parents weren’t interested in it. The way I see these religious women talking about themselves – I don’t understand how they can say those things with a straight face! They’re not even interested in listening to a different point of view.
        They will tell you it’s not abuse, but when you ask for an explanation, they can’t give you one!

      • If that is the life you have ever known, you know no different.

  3. Reblogged this on thekinkyworldofvile and commented:
    So much abuse, and people just turn their heads.

  4. Excellent deconstruction, Basia Rose.

    • Basia Rose says:

      Thanks – looking back, it’s a bit long and rambling! Every so often I come across something in CDD that shocks me, and I’m pretty hard to shock!

  5. Reblogged this on Corporal Punishments from Preschool to Present and commented:
    very interesting…

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